What we get as we get older is more control over our emotions.
We are not full of the angst and longing that fuels out teenage years and whilst love remains very real to us, it is not all consuming.
I have posted about my longing to meet the right guy, to be struck by the mythical bolt of lightening and have my world rocked.
And this remains true.
But,
All along I have loved somebody, but the love is not to be returned, I know that.
He is a wonderful, wonderful man, strong and sexy. Witty and caring.
And so, so handsome!!
I have enjoyed wonderful sex with him, not just a quick fumble and a kiss but really good, hot and horny sex.
But I know he does not want me and that is fine.
I treasure his friendship more than he will ever know, I wish him all the love in the world.
My own special mojo.
homo mojo!!
And this is what I have gained with the turning of thirty. He doesn't love me and my world is not collapsing.
It is NOT the end of the world as we know it.
And yes, I feel fine.
28/06/05 @ 01:42